But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
