Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
