what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I think I sprained my soul last night
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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