she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
