so that wasnt chicken after all
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
