my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
