It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
