Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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