I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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