it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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