i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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