Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
