I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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