Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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