I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
porn star boner night. come get it.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
