So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
