wat bout pragnant strippers??
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
it was like eating out sand paper
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
