Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
