All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
