D3 body, D1 cock
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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