how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
