For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize