I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize