i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
