Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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