his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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