is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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