how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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