i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
