508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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