4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
