Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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