If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
