So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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