I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
