Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I think your dad took our porno
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
