Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
