if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
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