No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
