she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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