I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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