My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
