I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
