She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
