Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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