Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize