I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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