you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
