Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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