I hate all girls vehemently.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
