i just had sex bonerless
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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