and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She's the barista slut.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
you're hired as official boob wrangler