how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.