Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in