We're facebook friends in real life
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just high enough for therapy.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
