First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
