Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
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