Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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