I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Randomize