OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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