she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize