He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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