At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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