Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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