Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
