If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
