Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
